Show of hands, who here as been drunk before? If you currently have your hand in the air, go sober up and come back before you read this, it was a rhetorical question and I don’t need you getting any ideas.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have done some questionably stupid things while I have been under the influence, but THIS STORY takes it to another level, and I will explain why.
For those of you still reading but too lazy to click on the colorful text to read the news story to which I am referring, it is about three men who decided to strip naked, jump in a shopping cart together, and go through a car wash. If we dissect this story, a few things actually make a little sense. Getting drunk and thinking “Hey, let’s run through a car wash” isn’t that farfetched. “Well, we should strip down first so we don’t ruin our clothes during the wax cycle”. Again, this makes sense. But the moment someone in the group says “Hey, let’s all jump in a shopping cart”, I’m out. Tap into the juvenile part of your mind for a moment and try to imagine three naked men writhing around to fit into a shopping cart together. I just hope they didn’t plug the drain.
So, a note to anyone who will get drunk with their buddies anytime in the future: Stick to drawing penises on each other when you pass out, and stay the hell away from the Wonder Wash.