Resident Evil for Realz

Some stories are just so astonishing that it is virtually impossible to write something funny about them. THIS STORY is one of them. That’s right folks, the zombie apocalypse is coming, and it’s starting in Florida (As if Florida weren’t already filled with enough mindless zombies). The story is almost an identical scenario to the beginning of the first Resident Evil game. You walk around the corner and find someone eating the face off of another person. He refuses to stop, so you shoot him. Zombies never go down in one shot, so you shoot him 5 more times until he drops. If the autopsy reveals traces of the T-Virus in their systems, I am going to shout “I told you so” as I load up on ammo. Stay safe out there, and don’t get bitten!